I Want you to Realize that you will never have a successful kingdom if you are the only one running it.
As I read that I stumble in confusion
yall know im a little slow at times
so i double back, it says as follow
I want you to realize you will never have a successful kingdom if you are the only one running it.
It sinks in, so all senses are heightened at this point
I continue to read.
I dont hate you I love you an you an i both know that but no matter how much we think this is what we are supposed to have the timing is never right, My heart drops Im tired of crying an wonderiing, im all out of tears. Im all out of fight. I deserve a happy ending an so do you, I can argue but not everyday, when i say how i feel or what i want you make me feel like my heart doesnt matter, as if i shouldnt feel any type of way. If someone is your person you will find a way to make things work right? Im appalled wtf is going on. As i write this our pinkies are intertwined like we are promising eachother something an i look at you sleep so peaceful i cant help but to think maybe i should rip this up an get back in the bed but clearly if your reading it that didnt happen, You cant make someone be with you
no matter how much you try to show them change an love they just wont see it until its to late. An thats no one fault but yours for messing up in the first place.
Complaining is like bad breath you notice everyone elses when it comes out of there mouth but we never notice ours, but its not complaining when you say it to the person who can resolve the issue right. Well this is me complaining to you for the last time.
I will not fight or fuss with you no more. When i kissed u that spark wasnt present, as unfortunate as it is by the time u are reading this my number will be changed all social medias will be erased well u will be an i will be on a plane, Im moving. I drop the Letter, as i sit an wonder what the fuck just happen I realize when i said where do we go from here do we try again? are you all in? You never answered. But i paid no mind to the no answer because you kissed me.
As the tears roll down my face I can feel my heart being pulled out my chest, I lay down an stare at the wall. Im completly numb. To know you can just switch up so fast makes me wonder was it ever real. The door bells rings. At this point i dont even get excited me an door bells clearly have some unfisihed business it rings maybe two or three more times as its followed by a knock. I finally get out of bed but im still naked so i grab my robe an house slippers an go to the door, crazy because my house smells like you but you made sure you cleaned up your mess. I see a cup of coffee and a sandwich on the table. So again confusion you write me a note an make me breakfast this mf really flipped the fucking script. As I open the door no one is present well it took me long enough to get to the door so i wouldnt expect someone to wait I go to close the door but i see a box on my patio chair. So i reach out for the box as i think i havent done any shopping so what could it. I close an lock the door but not before I make sure it has my information on it, an it does so I put down to the side and walk away. I go to the table and grab the coffee shit with the morning I have had already. I think i deserve it. I walk back upstairs an grab my phone. I had a picture of me an you saved as my lock screen it was gone i go to look at text messages they where all gone. Now im pissed because u can change a picture but i had every text message we have ever sent eachother you have always been the one to delete yours in the heat of a argument but i kept them good an bad so im boiling at this point i go to find your contact its gone all our pictures videos screenshots of the hours we been on the phone everything gone. Its like you never existed, i want to through my phone but i need it. I go to social media email everything we have ever gave eachother to communicate GONE You literally took my fucking option away an vanished. How could you be so damn heartless. As I start to cry I walk to the bathroom to shower because unfortunalty I have to work. In complete silence I hear nothing. At this point normally Im on the phone with you or your right with me getting dressed for work too. I give myself a pep talk an say everything is going to be ok shit who am i kidding its not but no one needs to know that. As i get dressed I hear my phone going off people calling an texting wanting to know how last night went im so embarrassed that i swear i will never tell a soul, At this point im dressed to perfection an you cant tell i was just handt my heart in two pieces. I put this face on as if nothing is wrong an i walk down the stairs I see the box an im like well maybe its some shoes give me something to smile about, I open the box an its everthing we ever gave one another. Everything i bout or gave you an everything you ever bout or gave me. My eyes pop out of my face as if fucing me an then leaving wasnt enough you had to go an collect the things around my house an also the things around yours an give them back from lil i love notes to the fricking tooth brush cover i bout you the first time you stayed over. Im floored with emotion i swear i have no words. I cant cry i have makeup on an i have a huge meeting to go to with my big boss today. So these feelings are going to have to wait til after work. I grab my keys a this damn box an head to the car as i put the box of us literally in the trunk i look to see if your car is in my the way of me getting out but who am i kidding your gone just a force of habbit huh. I have to pass by your house on my way to work I see the shades open its really empty i see your landlord walking out i swear i thought id see you but no just jesus. I turn the radio on an i swear the radio or any music for that matter in the time of a break up or heart break is your worst enemy it just doesnt have your best intrest at heart. I turn the radio off in anger an ride in silence as i pull up an park my car i inhale an exhale an pray to the man up above that i dont cry over the littliest thing at all. As i walk in everyone greets me an i greet them back i then purchase another cup of coffee from Elizabeth in the lobby she says my must have been a great night your glowing i smle and laugh an say girl if you only could imagine paid an tipped her and walked to my office. my work bag an purse in one hand an my coffee in the other i sit down at my desk an i exhale i say out loud not one tear shed 8 hrs to go you got this. As time goes by im working an i havent thought about you which is good because i have this meeting an thats the last thing i need to do is cry infront of all my coworkers. I start to head to the meeting an when i walk in I have a seat. Everyone starts to croud the conference room so im happy that i got in here when i did my boss says Everyone I am sad to tell you I am retiring. Its not a shock shes like 70 but everyone is sad she is our work mother. So now everyone is asking questions what will happen who will be our boss and she says well ask Empress cause I am passing the crown officially over to her. YAll i wasnt even paying attention im sitting looking in space thinking about what im going to do to this box of what is now deamed shit. An my coworker says Empress omg im so happy for you. I snap out the trans an just stare an all of a sudden the tears come…… everyone thinks im cryign cause im happy an i am but this has been the worst 48hrs of my life. As i leave work early i head home I think about everything that has taken place an as i go to get my phone i realize who am i calling ive always called you….
Welcome back to positions of the flexible as usual. Here is episode 5 for the count down!!! Lets jump right in
Remember you can always chime in and tell me what you think will happen or tell me what should happen talk to me!! I'm all ears!!
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completly speechless
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